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Tween Tuesday

The other day driving home from school Beanna told me when she grows up she will have a foster kid (her words). I asked her what made her want a foster child and I have to say her response made me proud. Her reasoning behind wanting to be a foster parent was simple enough..."some kids need a good home and I want to give him or her one." She went on to tell me that one of her friends has a foster sister that the family treats as their own which is important because nobody wants to feel left out just because they're not blood related. I told her I agree completely, that blood isn't always what makes a family but rather the love we have for one another.
B and I talked quite a bit on the foster child subject with her pointing out that it's not a child's fault that they end up with "bad parents" and get taken away because after all they didn't ask to be born. This discussion left me warm and fuzzy. My daughter is wise beyond her years when it comes to certain situations and I am extremely proud of the young lady she is growing to become.

You're probably wondering how a 10 year old could know the difference between a foster child and an adopted child. Well I was in foster care and have always been open about that with her. I have explained to her why I was in foster care and how it impacted my life. I have also told her about how lucky I was to end up with an amazing foster family who encouraged me to pursue my dreams regardless of what they were. I was taught that we make our own future, we can choose to follow the path those before us have or go the other route.

I'm sure this revelation about myself is throwing you off based off my first entry so to clear up the confusion I'll give a quick background. I was raised by my grandfather for a few years in my early years and then my mother, by age 15 I was in foster care and stayed there until a few months past my 18th birthday and finished high school.
Once again these are details of my life I've shared with Beanna and only revealing more as she's gotten older and more curious.

It is because of my past that I'm a huge supporter of anything benefitting foster kids. I encourage you to contribute when you can to charities or businesses which support foster children in your area, whether it be in the form of time or donations. Trust me the little extras foster kids get can make their days.

Til next time I'll leave you with one of my favorite sayings from a business here that supports foster care. "Not everybody can be a foster parent but anybody can help a foster child".

XO - V.G.


  1. beanna sounds like an amazing kid.
    thanks for sharing about your foster experience. i don't know much about fostering other than it's a great way to give a child a second chance at knowing what a real family is like.
    i also think it's fantastic that you're open with beanna. kids these days need honesty and communication. high five on being a great mom!! :]

  2. My dad was an orphan at a young age. He was the youngest of his siblings and his oldest sister and her new husband took him in, but being the only boy with two older sisters and parents that both passed away 3 years apart was rough for him. His sister couldn't take him, he went to foster care until no one else wanted him. He ended up at a boys home, which I guess is like a group home but they only had room for him at the juvenile hall. A portion of it was turned into a boys home/school. This was in Pennsylvania. By the time he was 15 he had been through so much and been bullied and abandoned by most of their remaining family. He ran away from the boys home and hitchhiked to California where my other aunt was living. She was 9 years older than him by then and was working as a stewardess. She took him in and became his guardian, he went to high school and that's where he met my mom. But he lacked a lot of social skills most kids would have by then, and he was always considered an outcast. I too have always been aware of what he went through and I've always been sensitive to foster children and orphans as well as abused and at risk youth. Because of how my dad grew up he didn't have a role model or anything on how to be a parent or raise a child, so it affected my childhood as well. I just think so much could have been different if he had been placed in a good loving foster home that could nurture him.
    Due to that, I always wanted to be a foster parent myself. Shortly before meeting my husband I was looking into it, but then we met, married, moved and had babies. It's something that's very near and dear to me, and I still would love to do, maybe when the younger kids are in grade school. My husbands grandmother was like that too, she always had foster children and a soft heart for wanting to help kids that need it. Thank you for this post, all the time I've known you I don't think I ever knew you were a part of the foster system. Your daughter sounds so compassionate and amazing! <3


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